Tuesday, May 31, 2011


I haven't blogged in a while. It hasn't necessarily been because I've been busy or I've forgotten its just because I haven't really had the energy or desire to do anything really. 

There has been so much change going on in my life in the last month that's it's just pretty much ridiculous. I'm serious, I've barely been able to keep up with my own life it's changing so much. I'm at one place one day and anther place the other day (mentally and emotionally, I'm still staying at the Dream Center). 

First change: I'm single. 

Yeah, it sucks. Kody and I broke up. For anyone back home this is kind of old news now except for the few that are not in the loop. So, yeah, Kody and I are no longer together. That has been something that has been really hard to deal with, let alone accept. It still doesn't feel real most of the time. I'll have something exciting happen and I'll instantly want to call him and tell him. Or it still blows my mind that I haven't talked to him in depth for over a month. It still hurts and its a pain I'm not quite sure how to deal with except for to lean on Jesus.

Second change: I'm thinking about going back to school.

This is a HUGE change because I have always said I won't go to college or anything like that because I hate school. School is boring and yes it teaches you things but it just sucks. I hate it. But now here I am, thinking about to going to school. I'm not quite sure if that's what I'm going to do for sure or not but its an idea I've been looking into and requesting information and applying for. 

Third change: I have vision for my life once again.

This is a gigantic change. I have been kind of just doing whatever for the last year, just waiting or thinking or whatever. I had no plans, minus coming to Dream Center but I didn't know what I was going to do next, and although my plans aren't set in stone, (what plans ever can with how much the world changes daily?) I am setting up things so that once I'm done here with the Dream Center then I will have some sort of plan. 

What is my plan? Well, I'm hoping to have it all nice and ready by the time I come home from vacation this month. Like I said above I'm looking into going back to school so that's a plan, or I'm starting to plan for my big dream, my main goal in life. Which is, for those of you who don't know, to start a teen center for hurting youth. I'm not going to go into deep details but I'm going to start a place where teenagers can come and get hope spoken back into them. So many teenagers are told they are hopeless, that they're worthless, that their lives have no meaning, I want to build a place where they can come and learn otherwise and learn that they're here for a reason and that no matter what other people say, Jesus loves them and there will always be hope for their lives.

Fourth change: I'm going back home after I'm done with the Dream Center.

I had posted before that I was thinking about moving somewhere with my mom or staying here at Dream Center for longer. Nope, I''M GOING HOME! That's a plan, right? So I have something planned out.

So yeah, four changes, four pretty big changes for me, good thing. Trying to keep up with them and get them all figured out and planned out? Hard to do but I will do them. Wish me luck!

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