Last night at Angelus Temple was fantastic. They had a MARVELOUS guest speaker Lloyd Bustard. He spoke about how when you do what God calls you to do, it is a open invitation for a full on attack from the enemy. Then at the end of the service he had some people come up on stage and hold up a piece of wood, resembling what they've been battling with. Some people had been battling with depression, fear, loneliness, guilt, failure, divorce...the list went on and on. It was crazy how fast the people came up on stage to grab that piece of wood. Once everyone had a piece of wood the speaker explained that the wood was the attack/battle that the enemy was throwing at us. But, there was a way to take that wood and turn it against the enemy. If you take the wood (this is what I'm going to call the battle from here on out) and set it down on top of all the other wood in the pile then it will help light the altar for Jesus Christ. In that, we are giving our battles, our struggles to God and from there He will take care of it, and defeat the enemy.
The hard part of this for most people is that we say we trust God, we say we believe in God but try to take care of everything, we think "I can handle this one on my own" which in the end, almost always leads to failure of overcoming our battles and attacks from the enemy. (I say "we" with all of this because I am one who tends to try this out a lot of the time.) When we lose it gives the enemy power and then he can easily come after us again and again and again until we finally go to God and give it all to Him. Only He can help us completely defeat the enemy.
This message hit hard last night, and it has kind of put me in a stump. Here I am going through all this emotional stuff, wondering when it's just going to be over. I keep having to force myself out of bed every morning just to make it through one more day. I'll be honest my mood has been kind of poopy (sorry, I've picked that up from my amazing boss) lately and I have been trying to make a fake happy attitude, and a lot of people who don't even know me have been able to tell that I'm not ok. That can really get annoying.
So, my new goal is to start a DAILY prayer just surrendering everything to God and just TRUSTING that God is going to take care of everything. He will give me HIS strength to make it through each day.