So, I've really been thinking about why God has me here. Like, a lot. I've been so confused, at times it has felt sort of senseless that I was even here to begin with. Luckily, God knows what I need, just when I need it. He send people, like my amazing friends here to just have a sit down and talk girl-talk which leads to me later on thinking, wow, I've come such a long ways from there, God knew what He was doing then when He took me out of that situation, I guess I should trust that He's doing the same now, right?
Well, see, I have this little problem...well, it's actually a big problem that I'm trying to fix...my godfather likes to call it my "fear of the unknown". That is a big thing for me, I really DO have a fear of the unknown, yet I like to try and plan for the future.
I DON'T like NOT knowing what I'm going to be doing, sure I like surprises but not ones that will mess with my future. So I usually do this thing, that I have found a lot of people doing. Which is saying, "God, I trust you to do this...BUT can you do this?" Which, it's not a bad thing to ask God for something, He's a father who likes to give things to his children, but He gives things to them that are good for them, things they need, not necessarily everything they want.
For instance, I can pray and pray and pray for God to give me an answer about what He wants me to do, but that doesn't mean he's going to...at least not that day. He could, He very easily could, but it doesn't mean He HAS to. Does that make sense? Which, by the way, I have been doing and He hasn't necessarily given me an answer, but He's opening some other options that I didn't even think about before, which could easily just be Him telling me it doesn't have to be this or that, but that other things can be worked out.
Anyway, something that I'm learning is that God does know what's best for me, He knows the right step and if I just calm down, learn to be patient and just listen for Him then He will guide me down the path He wants me to go down. I need to learn how to get rid of my fear of the unknown and just trust that God really can take care of everything and that it will all work out for the best.